Love, at its finest..

How am I supposed to keep everything inside? Why do I constantly go back and forth?

For the first time in a long time, or ever, God makes me smile. Maybe I am finally believing! He does bring great things in your life, and I guess I should see what we have for what it is. Because He is giving me chances to make this work. To LET it work.

I am just so terrified.

I can't stand not knowing what is going to happen.
I give myself anxiety with this fear.

Ahhh, I just want to be normal. Whatever that is..

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Baby, please don't go..

You can leave all you want and I will never let you go. You can come and go as you please and I will always be here. You have such a hold on me. You have the greatest advantage.

My heart.

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When the going gets tough..

Now I can blog from my phone. How cool is that?

Things are a mess. I lost another job for no reason. What the fuck. I actually liked that job and didn't have any particular feeling about going or not. Sigh. My relationship is still a mess, but I did initiate a set back. I just told her that I thought we should he friends, and talk for a while. I think it will he good for us to establiah better communication and a solid friendship between us to better us as a couple. I hope this works. I told her that I wasn't going anywhere, I just needed time to get myself together because I am simply a mess right now..

I went to Church today. It was really good. I felt really connected to something and someone that is there to help me and always will be. I was worried about it at first, but I feel better about it now. The pastor said, "Don't make it about religion, make it about a relationship with God." So that is what I did. I hope this helps. I want to start praying at least once a day, and really connecting with God. I think it will give me some direction and it is the only thing I can talk about without feeling empty or lost. I feel good about it.

I hope this new relationship with God helps me and helps things to turn around. He never leaves you and is always there to carry you when things get hard.. I need some kind of direction and I think this is it. I hope it is..

School sucks. I think I am done after this quarter. I need to work and get my money back up. I have trips to make and people to see. I want to live life again and be happy! Hopefully thing start to get better and stay that way for once!

That is all.

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