Today is harder than most, and I don't know why. I don't want to think about you, I don't want to hurt anymore. You left me for someone else, and NOW you're pregnant, and all I can do is hurt over it. Every morning I wake up and the thoughts run through my head. The same tiring, hurtful thoughts of betrayal, what you did with him, and how you hurt me. And on top of it all, I'm dreaming about you. Dreaming of you coming around, making me feel how you used to, and it's hurting me more. No matter what I do, it's there. You're always there. Always in my thoughts, always weighing down my heart. I know that my actions are my own. I know that my thoughts are my own, and I don't know WHY I can't stop. I don't know why I can't stop hurting. How long is this going to last? How long am I going to hurt over you, and the way that you crushed me. What more do I have to go through to let this all go?
I don't want to keep talking about it, but the pain is ever present. The hurt I feel lingers constantly. There is always something there to remind me. Something I see. Something I hear. Something I feel. It's always something. How heartless can you be to leave me hurting while you're off with what you think is making you happy? How heartless can you be to just do the things you do and did to me? I'll never understand it...
I'm so much BETTER than this. I deserve so much MORE. I'm not perfect, but I loved you. I would have done it all for you..
And look where that got me..
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